my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize