how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He's a Shit stain on my heart
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
