OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
