Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize