I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize