were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
