That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Of course I have a pirate flag
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
