what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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