oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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