I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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