im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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