she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
