I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
