my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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