my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
