I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think my moral compass just broke
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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