I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize