So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
