David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
