Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
