dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize