A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
