her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
