Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
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it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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