I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
