so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize