the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
