my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
