Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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