nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
