He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She's JV to your varsity
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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