hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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