You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize