I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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