just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
