so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
