I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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