I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize