I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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