I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
