He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
