Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
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I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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