i just sent this text using only my big toe
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
