you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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