oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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