Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
