Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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