Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
