You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
