people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
