Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
