I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize