I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
