billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
