i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We need to get me chipped asap
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
