I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
