I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
