I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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