there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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