I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
