you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i believe in u and ur pee
He shit in the fireplace
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
