do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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