bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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