just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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