: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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