Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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