oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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